Does your neighbor's lawn make you green with envy? Or do they just bug you about their lawn being so much prettier than yours? Get some very thin copper pipe, a length exactly your height, and cut it into lengths as long as your middle finger. Write sigils of withering and infertility in ink mixed with boiled thorns, weeds, and chimney soot on pieces of paper and put these in the small pipes. Now beat the ends of the pipes closed. Then go out and nail them (secretly) all over his lawn. Revel in your yard as his withers ever after.



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