I've started! So far I've gotten to:

'It was a dark and stormy night...'

Heh, actually, I've started a few times, the trouble being that you guys see one side of the coin for the most part, the goofy one. The other side is about 30% bigger, and is rather dark and somewhat horrific. Even I don't like to go there, but it plays a part, none the less. How do you tell someone about the nights working in the Projects where you spend hours washing away blood and fetal tissue into the sewers after a street gang has sprayed 9mm slugs into a crowd sitting outside on a hot summer night? Who would believe it? Could I prove it? Well, yeah, if I spent days meandering through the local paper's morgue back to the 1970's for coverage of it. The thing is, most people haven't been exposed to stuff like that, and it would seem like I'm pulling this stuff out of the air.

Heh, there was even a funny part to that call.... Three quarters of the way through the incident, about 2 am or so, something moving catches my eye in the corner of my vision. By that time there were only 5 or 6 older women sitting on metal chairs watching us. Anyway, I turn and see a fat old skunk making it's was alongside the building, totally ignoring us. The only thing was...it was on a collision course with the old ladies, as it happily waddled along, oblivious to the world around it. It gets to within 20 feet or so before they notice it...and then the 'stuff' hits the fan.

"Waooowww! Doris! SKUNK!! RU UUNNNnnn!!!"

The metal chairs go flying as they race (hobble) towards the doors of the building and slam them behind them. The skunk panics at the noise and runs directly at US, in a slow motion, hopping, skunk stampede.

My dumbell nozzleman has the trigger locked open on the hoseline, so when he drops it and runs, the thing sprays everything, floodlights are toppling everywhere...the skunk gets sprayed and sprays the nozzle in return. We all run to the cab of the rig and close the windows...and it turns into one of those 'breakfast with Mikey' commercials:

" Psssst...go see if the skunk left..."

'YOU go see if the skunk left...I'M not going outside...'

"Cmon, ya wuss...go look, it prolly ran away."

'Send the tailend men, they're outside anyway, somewhere...'

" I think they're hiding on top of the hosebed, trying to look invisible..."

We finally shut down the rig so the unattended nozzle would stop 'dancing', and swiveled the spotlights from the cab in an attempt to spot the skunky 'terrorist', perhaps lying in wait somewhere. He'd left for parts unknown, so we gathered our gear and left, after noticing the old ladies in absolute hysterics at our antics, still huddled together in the hallway. Ehhh, it was a pressure release for all of us.